Yet Another Cooking Rut
I think I’m afraid of my kitchen.
Just being in that space gives me a headache. I don’t know if it’s the drab lighting or the cramped space or the infestation that plagued our first weeks here or what. I don’t even like going in there to boil ramen. I spent a whole lot of effort in the beginning just making it a usable space, but it’s still not enjoyable. It will never be enjoyable.
It’s upsetting. I miss cooking.
But I feel uninspired. And even if something sounds interesting, I don’t really want to make it.
Maybe I’m just stressed and depressed and blaming it on circumstances. Because even when I want to cook, I just can’t bring myself to do it. These days I give myself a pat on the back for just throwing some veggies and chicken in the oven. Back to basics.
Noah actually had to ask me for a “baked good” for this rotation for his coworkers, which led me to spend several days thinking about what can pass as a baked good. Does caramel corn count?
In the end I decided to try a Sohla recipe for the first time, and also maybe a no-bake cheesecake that I remember eyeing during recipe developing days (literally years ago lol). And now that it’s apple season I’ll make my yearly non-holiday random pie. We’ll see if any of that comes to fruition.
I can’t believe I’m saying this, but in this one specific regard I kind of miss the days of quarantine. Those times when random ideas would just pour out of me and everything I made was delicious and cooking was the one high point in my day - looking back and having survived covid (so far), that was kind of nice. I hate that these days I’m making food purely for sustenance, and it always feels like such a chore.
In the mean time we’ve been eating lots of good take out. Celebrated the union of some friends by taking a trip out to wine country. Rosie was sick after we got back because of course she was. There is still a lot of good eating happening, just not good cooking in this house.
I’m not sure how to snap out of this rut. Maybe it’ll be the end of this blog. I hope not!